Dancing with the Dead

Dancing with the Dead
by Sylvana SilverWitch


I am dreaming, I am in a dark room, I am afraid - but I move through
the doorway anyway. Suddenly I am on a freeway, on the center-line,
cars speeding past me on both sides. The wind rushes in my ears,
whipping my hair around; I feel dizzy, as if I'm going to fall into
the path of the traffic.

I see my lover walking down the middle of the other side of the
freeway, his long dark curls flying in the wind. He looks far away,
but he's not really. I scream at him, trying to be heard over the
sound of the traffic. I scream and scream for him, but he is
careening, on first one foot and then the other, dancing in front of
the cars.

He looks so pale and beautiful in the moonlight. Some of the cars
pass through him, as if he's not real. I find I am screaming, "But
you are real! I love you! Please come to me! Get out of the traffic!
Please!" I hear the screech of tires on pavement, as a car swerves to
miss him, and it sounds like a phone is ringing somewhere, far away.
Oh shit!

Oh, no, it's my phone. I strive to wake up, reaching for the
telephone. It is one of my friends -why is she calling at this
hour? "Honey? Are you awake?" She is quiet, not at all her usual
self. I instantly sense that something is wrong.

"What's wrong?" I ask - I am suddenly fully awake. "What's wrong!" I
have a sinking feeling in my chest; I know that something is terribly
wrong, and I start to cry as she says, "I guess you haven't heard."

"Heard what!?" I am screaming at her while she is speaking ever so
slowly and quietly.

"Heard about Bobby. He was killed last night."

The room disappears from around me, everything goes black and I fall
away from the reality I have been in. I feel as if I am falling
forever, down, down, down. Down into an abyss of pain. I come to some
semblance of awareness a moment or two later. The only reason I know
it is only a few minutes is because she is still on the phone
repeating, "Are you there? Are you there? Are you all right? Hello?
Hello!"

I reply, "Yes. I have to go now; I'll talk to you later." She
argues, "Are you sure?" But I hang up. My dream flashes in my mind; I
suddenly realize what it was about, and I apprehend that I am
sobbing. I take a Valium and go back to bed and close my eyes, hoping
to shut out the reality and the pain.

I dream again, except this time I am with him, I am sitting in my
living room talking to Bobby, and he is telling me that he is not
really dead. I am so relieved! I hug him and feel him solid and large
in my arms. I know he is really alive; it must have been a bad dream.

He says that he is sorry that we won't be together anymore, but it is
and will be okay, and not to cry any more. I am upset, and he
comforts me. I ask him how I will know that this is not just a dream,
and he says he can tell me what happened and why. He tells me details
about his accident, which was a freak one. I know that he is telling
me the truth, and I tell him how much I love him and will miss him.
He smiles and says he knows, him too. And he fades away. I call out
to him to ask him to stay, but I hear him saying he's got to go and
he will talk with me again. Later.

---

Most of us have had people go from our lives, but the most cruel loss
is the death of a family member, friend, lover or even a beloved pet.

When this happens, it can be extremely difficult to let go of the
intensity of emotion that we have around it; it "haunts" us, and we
are sad and depressed - sometimes for months or years.

It is important, in my opinion, to allow the normal changes to happen
in life with as little energy "getting stuck" as is humanly possible,
because keeping the energy flowing causes the least pain. If you do
your best to first feel and then let go the emotions around the
demise of someone close, it helps your healing process and theirs
too. You must let them go and let go of any extra energy you may have
connecting you to them; by energy, I mean sadness, anger, hurt,
resentment, longing. All of these are strong emotions and
are "energy" that can keep us connected to the dead. If you attempt
to grasp or hold tight to them, it just damages you in the long run.
It can be especially tough when you haven't gotten along with the
person for a long time, or when there are big unresolved issues
between you.

One way to deal with your emotions when attempting to let go of a
loved one, is to do a ceremony to say goodbye. It can be helpful in
this process, to contact the dead to communicate whatever you need to
express to them and they to you. You can voice whatever and say your
last good-byes, while at the same time acknowledging that they are
still alive, energetically. Especially if they appear very clearly to
you, this has made me feel much better about the passing of my loved
ones. Performing the ritual aids in the grieving and healing process,
if in no other way than achieving closure.

Connecting with the dead always seems scary at first, but it doesn't
have to be, when you are in the right frame of mind.

Why would you want the spirits of those who have passed on to appear
to you? You might have incomplete business with them, for example if
a parent dies prior to you working your childhood stuff out with him
or her. Maybe you have a question that can't be answered by any
living person, or maybe you wish to honor the dead, as at Samhain.
These are all valid reasons. Just for the fun of it is not a good
reason!

You might want to be cautious and have respect for the departed, as
they do have some power over the earthly beings that have put energy
into them. If nothing else, they can communicate with you on the
astral plane and make your sleep difficult. If you were to screw
around with them or convene the wrong ones, there's no knowing what
might happen. There are all kinds of dead, just as there all kinds of
living people - some good, some not so good. Use discretion when
doing these workings.

I have chiefly communicated with the departed because someone else
requested it of me, but at times they have turned up and talked to me
on their own, just because they can I guess. When I work for someone
else summoning dead kin, it's always interesting. I usually try to
get the departed to tell me something really obscure about the person
doing the seeking, so that they will know it's "for real." It is
something that a lot of people get spooked about.

I have, in years past, done psychic work with law enforcement
agencies to help locate missing people. Usually they had several of
us psychics working on the same job, they wanted to check out our
information for accuracy, I guess.

---

I went and sat down at the table in the office I was told I would
work in. I felt a feeling of dread, like I didn't want to be there,
or like something bad was about to happen. A detective came in and
informed me they would be taping the session; I agreed that it was a
good idea. He set up the recording equipment and brought out a manila
envelope. He said, "This is a missing person; we'd like to have an
idea where to look for her, and any other important facts you can
tell us."

With that, he showed me a picture of a young dark-haired girl, maybe
11 or 12. I immediately got what I call a "charge" from the picture,
and I told him I'd do my best.

He sat across the table and passed me the remainder of the contents
of the envelope. There were various personal effects in it, including
a report card, a drawing, a bracelet, a hair brush with hair and a
number of pictures.

I immediately knew that the girl was dead, even though the policeman
didn't say so. I also knew that she had been abducted by a stranger,
not a person known to her. I knew this because of the terror that I
felt from her energy. I closed my eyes and I saw trees all around me,
big tall trees. I was very cold, and wet, and alone. I was scared,
but happy to make contact finally. (In this process, I often feel as
if I am the person I am connecting with.)

I opened my eyes and told the policeman, "She's dead."

He jumped. "Are you sure? That was kinda quick, wasn't it?"

I replied, "No. When I make a good connection, it often happens like
this. But it is really strong right now, and I want to get details,
so I will talk with my eyes closed and tell you what I see, okay?"

"Uh, okay." He was unsure about me but didn't know what to do except
agree.

I went on, telling him about the trees and the ravine, and the water
and the car. Then as I was describing the scene of the abduction and
the man who was the perpetrator, the girl's energy just started
weirding out, and she started calling for her mother.

I realized she didn't know she was dead. Oh no, this is not good, I
thought. She thinks she's still alive, and I'm helping to rescue her.
I tried telepathically to explain to her what had happened, but
apparently she had no context for death where she herself was the
subject. Plus she was dazed and confused, not thinking straight. I
knew I'd have to do some work on releasing her if I were to continue,
but then I would be risking the connection.

I had to do something, so I opened my eyes. The cop jumped visibly
this time when I opened my eyes and said, "I have to stop; she
doesn't know she's dead."

"What do you means she doesn't know she's dead?" He was almost
yelling at me, and I had to bite my tongue.

---

How can you solicit and communicate with your dead? A ritual follows,
especially for the summoning, communication and making amends with
and letting go of dead loved ones.

First, choose a night that the moon is dark, preferably around
Samhain or Imbolc, when the veils between the worlds are the
thinnest. Find a place where you can be alone, where you won't be
disturbed. Assemble all of your tools and talismans; a list of things
you might need follows this article.

Cast your circle, drawing the circle in the air and visualizing it to
be a sphere, taking you outside of the mundane reality of the time
and space that we all normally inhabit. Next, conjure the elementals,
and-or the directions, whichever you prefer, asking for their aid and
protection, and light the candles. Next, invoke the God and Goddess
into the circle, lighting their respective candles. You might ask a
particular god or goddess who is associated with the dead, like
Rhiannon, to attend your circle. You might also like to invoke the
aide of the fey, who are the traditional go-betweens connecting the
realms of the living and the dead.

Light some incense that is associated with either the dead in general
or the person you wish to speak with. For example, if it's your
grandmother who always wore lavender perfume, burn lavender. Put a
picture of the person, if you have one, on the altar, or any of her
or his possessions or clothing.

State your intention for all to hear and take notice. This is
important. Then invoke the person you wish to communicate with.
Saying something like: "I invoke you ; please draw near and converse
with me; please attend and illuminate this space with your presence.
Kindly appear and assist me in my time of need. Please come; please
come!

Speak their name aloud several times, then sit down, close your eyes
and wait. This is a very interesting part of the rite, because you
must listen quietly. Spirits don't always appear á là Hollywood, in a
superficial display of smoke and lightening. It is sometimes more
like someone speaking softly to you inside your head, or a feeling of
someone being with you. Listen and be open to them appearing to you.
Hear what they say; don't dismiss it as imagination. You can ask them
for a sign if you are really skeptical. Say what you will to them,
and know that they have heard you.

When you are finished or when they are done talking to you, thank
them, tell them how much you love and appreciate them and then... say
goodbye and let them go! Know that if you ever really want or need to
talk to them, you can and they will hear you.

Lastly, ground your energy through the earth, making sure there is no
residual energy from any other beings left in you. Then pull some
energy up from the earth, let it bathe your heart in cleansing,
healing energy. Dismiss your gods and the elementals and close the
circle.

Afterward, take a cleansing bath or eat a small meal in honor of your
rite. This is a good time to clean out the departed persons room,
give their belongings to a deserving charity, or put their pictures
or effects away. Keep some special mementos, but use the energy to
really let go of them, you will find it makes you feel much better.

Some people like to use a Ouija board to talk to discarnate beings, I
don't like the Ouija board - I believe anything can come through it,
not just the spirit you are specifically invoking. So use it at your
discretion. You could also try a seance, in which you gather a number
of people around a table and invoke the dead to communicate through
one of you. This works best if one person is the designated medium
and has experience "channeling" the dead.

However, being a medium for the dead can be quite traumatic, and I
don't recommend doing it unless you have some training. I used to do
this with some regularity, and even though I am trained in the
psychic arts, it was very hard on me to maintain my own energy
throughout.

---

It is a still and quiet night. The room is dark and hazy-looking to
you, even though there is no mist. Everyone is seated around a large,
old, round oak table. There are candles flickering in the mist.
Everything begins to fade away from sight, everything except the
table directly in front of you, a narrow tunnel of reality.

Then you get a chill down your spine. The hair on the back of your
necks prickles with electricity. "The spirits have arrived," says the
high priestess. About that time you feel something brush up to you,
into you, and then you are above your body and to the side, looking
at yourself smiling at everyone.

The high priestess turns to you and addresses you as if she doesn't
know you, "Who comes there?" she asks. "Who is it who joins our
circle of love and light?" You see your mouth move and hear words
falling from it, but they are not your words. You recognize the
energy a moment later as a departed friend of one of your circle-
mates. You sigh and relax, and decide to travel around while you are
out of your body. Hmmmm - where to go?

---

I am fully aware that in writing this I might be summoning up the
people who have been long gone from my life, and I accept that
possibility.

Items for a ritual for the dead:

Anything that reminds you of the person
Black altar cloth
Black candles
Black mirror
Crystal ball
Elemental candles
Essential oil
Flowers
Incense
Jewelry
Music
Paper and pen
Personal belongings
Pictures
Red wine